|
Happy Wednesday my people ❤️
"Faith and fear both demand you believe in something you cannot see. You choose." ~ Bob Proctor
I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder at 7 years old.
Every single night, I would wake up in the dark hours with a feeling of terror. I’d immediately rush into my parents' room, seeking safety. My mom couldn't get a good night's sleep for years because I was afraid of monsters.
That fear of monsters later evolved into a fear of other humans judging me, a.k.a social anxiety disorder. I spent my teenage years paralyzed by this fear. Every time I had to speak in front of the classroom, I felt like I was on the verge of a panic attack. It almost feels like I’m talking about a past life now, or a different person, but it’s true. I had a crush on a girl for four years & couldn’t say a single word to her.
Today, I can proudly say that I’ve managed to become an actor, model, public speaker, comedian, creative entrepreneur & content creator. When it comes to girls, all I would say is I'm regularly asked for advice on dating, confidence & charisma. I'm very humble about it. So how did I manage to pull this off? Honestly, good f*cking question. This newsletter is my best attempt to answer it.
|
|
|
3 Lessons I Learned from Overcoming Diagnosed Anxiety to Achieving Inner Peace |
|
|
1- Anxiety doesn't exist | The economy of labels |
|
|
Every Gen Z conversation ever:
"Why didn't you finish the job bro? You're going to get us in trouble!"
"It's because of my anxiety. I had to take care of my mental health."
"... I'm sorry but who cares bro?! The client is waiting for his service!"
"No, but you don't get it... I'm DiAgNoSeD with ✨Generalized Anxiety Disorder✨"
"Oh no... I'm so sorry if I offended you bro, I didn't know. I'll tell the client to wait then!"
Sound familiar?
I call them Gen Z badges of honor: Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD), Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).
Pick one, stick it to the front of your forehead, & spend the rest of your life using it as an escape from the responsibility of being human. This seems to have become the default path for our generation.
By the way, did you know that most of these labels were recognized as an official diagnosis only as late as the 1980s?!
Humans before the 1980s: "well... I guess life sucks sometimes... now what could I do to make it suck less?"
Humans after the 1980s: "well... I am forever condemned to be limited by a combination of symbols & sounds... now let's numb my brain with chemicals by taking some magic pills that will save me from this awful condition of being human"
Let me be clear here: i'm not denying your struggle! I'm just inviting you to look at it through a different perspective, one that made life suck less for me.
The Power Of Your Self-Image
I spent the first 18 years of my life walking around with a bunch of labels stuck to my forehead. I was genuinely preoccupied with thoughts on how to build my life around those conditions, as if they were actually some kind of physical limitation. Everything changed the day I came across the teachings of Tony Robbins.
"The words we attach to our experience become our experience," he said. "Interesting," I thought. "What if I stopped using the words 'depression' or 'anxiety' and just replaced them with 'uncomfortable' states instead?"
I am NOT exaggerating when I say that "anxiety" became completely irrelevant to my life from that day on! I'm not saying I'm never afraid, I experience fear all the time. I just don't use it as a limitation anymore. I actually use as a driving force towards progress! "I'm feeling uncomfortable" Great, time to take action or to shift my perspective! There's a reason behind that fast transformation & it's not a miracle.
Our mind is a goal-striving mechanism, & it works automatically on the goals we set for it. Success is built within our nervous system. Every single human being on this planet is successful. The key difference is that our definition of success is a direct reflection of our self-image. If we see ourselves as failures, we will successfully fail. If we see ourselves as anxious people, we will successfully be anxious. If we genuinely see ourselves as valuable entrepreneurs, we will successfully become millionaires.
Self-Image or Identity is the most powerful driving force behind human destiny. We do not fly to the height of your talent, we fall to the level of our self-image. Stories shape our world. Language matters. F*ck limiting labels.
How to change our personality to change our personal reality:
#1- Be present: Practice living in a meditative state. That’s how you reset your settings back to a blank default state of infinite potentiality - Who you really are in your deepest essence identity.
My full definition of presence: absence of identification with words, emotions or senses about past or future.
Action Step: Schedule 15 minutes per day where you sit down & observe internal mental-emotional patterns as they come & go from a place of radically open curiosity. As you get used to it, you can then start applying that meditative state to your day to day life as a reminder of who you really are.
#2- Shift your human identity: Vote for your identity of choice with habits. That’s how you set up the foundation for your life. Every aspect of it, health, wealth, relationships & wellbeing is built on your identity.
Action step: a) in a perfect world where you could truly be whoever the f*ck you want to be, what kind of person would you want to be? b) what are daily & weekly habits that would make it hard for you NOT to become that person in a decade?
Every time you engage in these habits, you are voting for the creation of that new identity. Do it long enough & your "anxious" label will feel like a past life.
#3- Be grateful: Celebrate your progress. That’s how you reinforce the foundation you want to strengthen.
Regardless of who you ultimately want to become, there are already moments in your life where you've been that person, or moments where you've acted in a way that person would act.
Action step: every evening, acknowledge these moments by noting them down in a journal. It can be something that happened in the past day, or week, or month, or year, doesn't matter. As long as it happened, it's one more vote towards that new identity & it's worth celebrating.
|
|
|
2- Self-Improvement is killing you | How giving up changed my life |
|
|
“I’m not enough, therefore I need to be improved”
This is the belief that the self-improvement industry seems to be feeding on, & I got caught in that trap big time.
I spent years of my life trying to fix stuff. Whether it's relationships, confidence, influence, business, income, health, time, discipline, knowledge, peace, progress, validation, nothing ever seemed to be enough.
I've tried practicing gratitude, noting down everything I'm grateful for every single evening, yet it felt as if that core belief slipped into that practice as well. It felt as if I was never "grateful enough" for what I had. What an interesting paradox. Of course, I use the word interesting here but that sh*t troubled me for a while, until I discovered the power of...
Radical Acceptance
"Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished." ~ Lao Tzu
What if the answer I was looking for all of this time was just a little 2mm shift?
What if we ARE enough, therefore we DESERVE to improve? What if we deserve to be nurtured with love, growth & prosperity? What if instead of being “fixed”, we can be nurtured as a garden, flourishing & restoring throughout the seasons?
I know you might be cringing as you're reading these sentences right now (cause to be honest, I do too sometimes), but what if that was actually the answer? What if that cringey feeling was our sense of unworthiness trying to resist to the idea of unconditional love?
Also, who are we to decide what it even means to be worthy? What do we even measure it against? What about those trees outside of our homes, just standing there, peacefully chilling their whole lives? Are we "worth" more than them? By what standards? Our intelligence or our capacity to take action? Look at all the destruction some of us humans have created with our intellect. Wouldn't the tree be in a better position here? But then again, how do we know if there's not a bigger purpose behind that destruction?
So many questions without a single satisfying answer. Trying to define what makes us worthy is a never ending spiral. Here are some facts we do know. Wherever we stand on the spectrum of religious belief & atheism, we have been created somehow, therefore our existence is worth it in the eyes of that creator. We do not know why we exist, but we know there's a reason for it, simply because we do. We have no idea what the universe even is, but we know it's something - because it is.
Isn't that enough?
In an almost miraculous & very paradoxical way, although it could be explained with some laws in quantum physics, when we truly give up on the idea of having to improve is when we "improve" the fastest. It's almost as if the infinite intelligence of whatever created us starts working through us. None of this can be proven scientifically, but when we try it out is when we become the proof. So here's...
How to achieve everything you've ever wanted by giving up:
#1- Shift your internal environment: Immerse yourself in teachings of radical acceptance & surrender . Explore books, podcasts, & other resources from authors & speakers who've actually practiced what they preach.
My personal book recommendations: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, Letting Go by David R. Hawkins & Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach
#2- Shift your external environment: Spend more time outside, reconnect with old friends, meet new people, discover new places & immerse yourself in nature.
Approach it like a workout. You might not always want to exercise, but you always feel good about yourself after you do it.
#3- Schedule time to practice radical acceptance: Start by scheduling 15 minutes per day where you sit down, without any distractions, & just take a moment to observe what's happening inside of you in an open & curious way. No judgment, no phone, no headphones, no book, just presence.
As you get comfortable with this practice & uncover its blissful nature, you can start exploring different ways to integrate it into your life.
Remember, healing takes time, & that's okay. We are infinitely deep & complex beings. Self-exploration is a lifelong journey. Enjoy ❤️
|
|
|
3- Stoic Oneness | The Forgotten Philosophy That Changed the World |
|
|
Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, Ryan Holiday, Tim Ferriss. Do any of these names ring a bell for you?
They're all known for their practice of stoic philosophy, a school of life based on three core principles:
- Acceptance of fate
- Detachment from external outcomes
- The practice of focusing only on what’s within one's control
Now what about Lao Tzu, Buddha, Jesus Christ, Rumi, Alan Watts, Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra. Do any of these ring a bell for you? I hope so, otherwise welcome to planet earth!
They're all known for their practice of oneness, a way of life based on three core principles:
- Unity - The idea that everything is interconnected, & we are all part of a greater whole.
- Unconditional Love - Recognizing the shared experience of suffering & striving to alleviate it in ourselves & others.
- Presence - Living in the now, accepting life as it unfolds, without attachment to the past or future.
Now what if we mixed these two? That would be the birth of a philosophy called:
Stoic Oneness
Have you ever felt like a separate fragment in a hostile, confusing & chaotic universe? Me too. What an interesting illusion to be stuck in. It's as if we keep on forgetting that:
Physicists in the past century have already proved thousands of times that all matter is made out of atoms. We are made out of atoms, our cats are made out of atoms, the air is made out of atoms, etc. Yet, the space between these atoms is literally thousands of times larger than the atoms themselves. This means that all matter, including you & I, is 99.99% space! So if we agree with the statement that “we” are not an individual atom, then is there really a separation between us & everything else in the universe?
If a scientist was to open our brains, would they be able to find our identities? Our names, stories, wants, desires, regrets, achievements, beliefs or values? So if that stuff is not contained within the physical limits of our skull, then where is the limit?
But even then, is all of that mental stuff who we really are? Could we really be our minds? Wouldn't that mean that we would also have to be our thoughts? What if we decide to think the thought "I am Jesus Christ" right now, would that be who we are? And how could "we" observe "our" thoughts if those thoughts were "us"? That would be like thinking the reflection we see in a mirror is who we really are, when it’s just light bouncing off the surface—an illusion of the real thing.
Or have you ever felt like your mind is racing a thousand miles an hour, but you’re stuck in a loop, overwhelmed by everything & nothing all at once? Me too. Another very interesting place to be. It's as if we keep on forgetting that:
There’s no way for us to accurately predict the consequences of our actions with absolute certainty, & caring about our image in the minds of others is like caring about . Nothing. Zero. Empty. Even putting words on it gives it too much relevance for what it is. It’s like chasing a rainbow. A reflection that comes & goes & that can never be grasped. The closest we can get to anything tangible is this: their image of us is just an electric signal firing through a network of water & fatty tissue in their skull.
From the day we are born to the day we die, no matter what we do, say, or think, nothing will ever change the fact that our worth is exactly the same as those trees outside our homes just standing there, peacefully chilling their whole lives. I've already said it but it's worth repeating. We have all been created somehow, therefore our existence is worth it in the eyes of that creator. We do not know why we exist, but we know there's a reason for it, simply because we do. We have no idea what the universe even is, but we know it's something - because it is.
There is only one thing we can ever truly control: the action we are taking right now. Not the action we took 5 seconds ago, nor the one we’ll take 5 seconds from now—just this moment, NOW.
How to find peace by taking back control over your life:
#1- Schedule time for presence. What I mean by presence is absence of identification with words, emotions or senses about past or future. In other words, it’s about recognizing that whatever happens in your mind isn’t who you really are—you are the conscious awareness, not the thinker.
Action step: Set aside 15 minutes each day to sit in silence, free of distractions, or take a walk in nature, allowing yourself to just observe what's happening inside of you in an open & curious way
#2- Humble yourself every morning. This is one of the most powerful tools I've ever tried.
Action step: every morning, during your journaling session, remind yourself of what's in your control & what's not. You can literally draw a line in the middle & separate that stuff on both sides. If you're really honest with yourself, you'll end up realizing that there's not much you're actually in control of, which seems to be a curse, but it's actually an incredible blessing, especially when you...
#3- Set a small goal for the day that's 100% within your control. Then celebrate it in the evening by acknowledging its accomplishment. That's how you let go of stressing over stuff you can't control anyways while strengthen your self-esteem. Win-win.
I truly hope these lessons helped you chill some of that anxiety down while shifting towards a place of inner peace.
|
|
|
Remember, life is one hell of a beautiful mystery. No one, no matter how wise they seem to be, has it all figured out. In a sense, we're kind of all just yeeting it out. Taking life too seriously condemns us to a life of heaviness & internal misery. Approaching it from a place of curiosity sets us up for a life of lightness & adventure. Stay wise. I love y'all ❤️ |
|
|
P.S. Whenever you're ready, there are 3 ways I can help you:
#1: If your favourite way to learn is by watching videos, I dive deeper into each one of these principles on my Youtube channel.
#2: If you’re on a mission to become the greatest man your bloodline has ever seen instead of settling for cheap pleasure, join the #1 Pxrn Addiction Recovery Brotherhood today. We’re here, waiting for you on the other side. ✊
#3: If you don't want to be left behind during the digital gold rush, join the Skool Games, where 30.4% of new members make their first $ online. Start your 14-day FREE trial today!
|
|
|